The mentality of a Lone Wolf...

It's been a couple of days since my breakup with the nice, kind-hearted woman that had brought some happiness to my life for about a month. And, I still feel that the break up was the best thing to do for the both of us. "Never waste a person's time in a any relationship if you are not at the same level of commitment as the other person in that relationship."

Question: When is the right time to tell your lover that you want to end the relationship with them?
Answer: There is never a good time to tell your lover that you want toend the relationship with them. Dah!!!

With the mentality of a "Lone Wolf", I mainly enjoy the ideal of being "alone"; and, I hardly ever think of myself of being "lonely", which are two separate rules of "thought" to me. According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, as you know, the word "alone" means "without anyone or anything else". The word "lonely" means "to be sad from being apart from other people". At this moment in my life, I enjoy the ideal of being "alone".

A person with a Lone Wolf mentality usually enjoys the feeling of not having to answer to no one for their actions or whereabouts. A Lone Wolf enjoys the feeling of being "tied down" by a potential committed relationship with someone. And, a Lone Wolf usually don't consider the notion of being lonely until some "mean-do-well" like a coworker, a friend, and/or a family member places a "You seemed lonely..." stigma on a person while trying to set us up with one of their single friends. For the record, you are a Lone Wolf when others continue to attempt to get you to meet one of their single friends, when you feel that it wasn't necessary for them to do so. But, I digress.

Like I said earlier, it has been a couple of days since my breakup with the nice, kind-hearted woman that had brought some happiness into my life for about a month. I have no regrets from my selfish decision. I didn't see that relationship being nothing more than a dating/intimate relationship because the more the woman wanted "titles" associated with that relationship, such as "boyfriend" or "girlfriend", "the more I began to feel "claustrophobia" in that relatioship". To a person with a Lone Wolf mentality, wanting to live a single life has nothing to do with a person wanting to date and/or have sex with more than one person at the same time. With me, it's more about possibly loosing my own identity while being in a committed relationship.

Question: Where did I get the notion of loosing my identity while being in a committed relationship?
Answer: To be honest, I have no clue where I got that frame of thinking from.

A person with a Lone Wolf mentality just don't see need of putting labels on a potential relationship until they feel "totally" secure in "mind, body, and spirit" with that other person they are dating. To rush a person with a Lone Wolf mentality into a more serious relationship is to do nothing more than cause that Lone Wolf to become more cautious with the progression of that relationship. A person with a Lone Wolf mentality would then begin to "regress" as that relationship progresses to the point that the Lone Wolf decides to no longer feel interested in remaining in that potential relationship. This is the way of the Lone Wolf.

People with the "Lone Wolf" mentality are usually not bad people. Our mentality can sometimes be misunderstood or hard to understand by others. Deep down inside, a person with a Lone Wolf mentality love the "ideal" to spend the rest of their lives with someone special. Like myself, I'm sure there are othr like minded people that have been hurt, or worse, in some past relationships to had brought them to this Lone Wolf type of mentality. Or, they may have just given up on the thought or the possibility of ever meeting someone special during their lifetime. Regardless of the reason of having a Lone Wolf mentality, we have a reason for choosing to live and enjoy their single lifestyle.

Mythbuster: A person with a Lone Wolf mentality don't enjoy hurting anyone's feeling while desolving a relationship. And, we usually recover pretty quickly after someone ends a relationship with us. We usually feel almost relieved when a relationship with someone has ended for some funny reason. I also don't have an explanation for that feeling.

People with a "Lone Wolf" mentality believes that their actions differ from those people that jump from relationship to relationship, either because of their desries for sexual conquests or the fear of sleeping in a lonely bed night after night. Neither of these selfish desires are a part of people with a Lone Wolf mentality. To a Lone Wolf, the desires to be in a relationship, whenever it may occur, is strictly to see if they may have found that potential someone that can truly make that Lone Wolf "feel whole". The needs of a person with a Lone Wolf mentality to find that "one true special person" is the main reason a Lone Wolf continues to venture into a dating relationship with someone. Each encounter with that new person they are dating is being evaluated to determine whether that potential relationship should "continue" or " not continue".

To a Lone Wolf, the end game of a relationship is not even a potential thought because we usually find a reason or a self destructing way to not continue with that potential relationship with someone. We may have even brought the person we are dating around our coworkers, friends, and maybe family members in that usual order just to see how we feel about them with those different social gorups; but, to us it doesn't mean that social group encounter with the person they are dating, the same two questions still exist in the back of their mind, to "continue" or "not continue" with that person.

I don't want leave with the readers of this blog to think that I am making any excuse for my Lone Wolf mentality. I'm a 47 year single guy that has neither been engaged or married. The choice to be single, is one of the known traits of having a "Lone Wolf" mentality. I know that every choice made in my life has come with consequences, both good and bad ones. And, I would like to believe that the day will come when a person with a Lone Wolf mentality has to eventually face the realization of hiding behind the "joys of being single" in order to be able to move on towards a committed relationship with someone. I am not clueless to this realization. I just want the readers to get a little more understanding from a fellow "Lone Wolf" when they attempt to set us up with another single person.

If you run into someone that you are trying to setup with another single friend of yours, who responds with "It never hurts to possibly meet new friend.", then you are most likely talking with a person with the mentality of a Lone Wolf.

Question: Is this the time for me face my realization now?
Answer: Unfortunately, not at this time.

And, readers, the next time you feel the desire to set up someone with one of your single friends. No matter how well your intentions may be, a Lone Wolf will find a gentle way of telling you to stop wasting you time with that thought. As a Lone Wolf, I enjoy be single. And, until I meet someone that can cause me feel otherwise, I will continue to feel this way with no regrets. Please respect our wishes when you finally realize that a Lone Wolf doesn't want to meet your single friends, no matter how good your intentions may be for trying get us to meet...