Answer: Of course we do.
People that possess a Lone Wolf mentality are not monks. We enjoy dating relationships. Those with Lone Wolf mentalities are even capable of even having serious relationships; but, we tend to be more cautious with whom gets our mind, body, and soul to before entering into any relationship beyond just a dating relationship. It can sometimes be very frustrating to date person with a Lone Wolf mentality, who doesn't want to talk about a serious relationship.
Question: Why does a person with a Lone Wolf mentality is usually hesitate about entering a serious relationship with someone that have been dating?
Answer: A person with a Lone Wolf mentality is hesitant about entering a serious relationship with someone they have been dating is because they are not willing to submit to the ideal of freely giving their "total self" to another person, yet.
Being a serious relationship scares the crap out of me. As I have stated many of times before to my family and friends, I am perfectly happy with being a single person. In many of my past dating relationships, I usually find fault, or enough "red flags", with a woman that I would date. Some of my reasons for ending a dating relationship with a woman were just; and, others reasons were just excuses to not further a reason with a woman. The bottom line is that I enjoy doing what ever I want to do and go wherever I want to go without having to check in with someone. I know that is part of a relationship with two people that have come to care about each other. But, I choose not to want to have to do that with someone at this point of my forty-seven years. I also can't shake off that "fenced in" or "restricted" feeling when I began to realise how serious a dating relationship may be heading. If I don't feel like "I" don't have a "natural chemistry: with a woman that I am dating within a few weeks, I will quickly end that relationship.
A friend once told me that in order to see if someone was the right person for you, you need interact with that person in different environments to see if you still feel the same about in those environments. I sorta over simplified the different environments, but they can be done in no particular order:
- hanging out at the movie, a theatre play, a museum, etc.
- hanging out with some of your friends who opinions you trust
- letting them meet some of your coworkers
- chatting an a nice place during lunch or dinner
- a romantic evening together
- hanging out with you during one of your family get-to-there
- a vacation or road trip
- hanging out with the other person's friends and family members
- sporting event, or participating in a sporting event together
- something spontaneous
Up until now, I've mainly been able to venture into one of those environments with about eighty-five to ninety percent of the woman that I've dated. And, only one woman has ever made through about four to five environments before I decided to end the relationship with them. I just didn't see me spending the rest of my life with this woman. So, I ended it. If I can meet someone that I have enjoyed being with them during at least seventy-five percent of these different environments, I would definitely consider moving to the next level of a relationship with that woman.
Right now, I like casual dating. It's usually fun with no expectations attached to it. It can be cancelled with an agreed "rain check" to do it on another time with no issues. And, there's no time limit when to meet up with the person again cause it wasn't a serious relationship. The only issue a person with a Lone Wolf mentality can issues with casual dating is if sex becomes part of the equation. Otherwise, casual dating works like "gang busters" with a Lone Wolf.
So, to recap, a person with a Lone Wolf mentality do date. Just be patient with us during that dating relationship. If we feel like pursuing a more serious relationship with someone that may hold a special place in our hearts, there won't be a need to push or force us into that serious relationship cause it would just feel like the natural thing to do in order to remain with that special someone. Otherwise, whenever someone attempts to push or force a person with a Lone Wolf mentality into a serious relationship, you may just get an opposite response from us; and it most likely be the beginning of that dating relationship ending.
If pushed, a person with a Lone Wolf mentality would rather end a dating relationship with someone in order for them to go meet someone than continue to stay in that dating relationship with that persistent person. And we will do thinking that we were ending that relationship in "their best interest". That is just the way of a person with a Lone Wolf mentality.
I need to ask a question, but first a little information:
ReplyDeleteI am not the lone wolf in the scenario, but a guy I am interested in is. I am learning to adapt to his needs...but when do my needs come into the picture? As in, I do not solicit him for attention, I let him initiate communications. If he says he needs "head space" I respect that and leave him to it. If he cancels on plans, I accept that it is usually because he needs quiet and space.
However, what if what I need is concise communication about his feelings? Just a clarification is all. How do my needs for information and having him tell me how he feels play into all this? What if I happen to need solace for something when he happens to need the aforementioned space?
I am a male lone wolf - knew I was from a very early age. I am married to a lone wolf - I looked for her for quite a while and we have been happily married for 40 years. We have 3 children and they are lone wolf types as well. We're very happy. If you are not a lone wolf type I would advise you to think long and hard about seeking a lasting relationship with one. They will not be able to give you what you need and eventually it will be a deal breaker. That you are learning to adapt to his needs is a big red flag - your already resenting his loner quirks - you need certain things from your partner to be complete - the loner will not be able to deliver on queue .... you need to be a loner to partner successfully with another loner.
ReplyDeleteI am not a lone wolf but someone I care about is and I can see this mentality holding him back from a lot of great opportunities. Such as family memories, where all they want is for him to know they want him around because they love him. I don't want him to feel he has to change his mentality but how can I go about helping him understand his family misses his company.
ReplyDeleteIt is tough being a wolf. So often society is quick to label you as a socially inapt loner who cannot adapt, while others scratch their heads and generalize you as aloof. Both of these mindsets described those who generally have a poor self image or lack confidence down one avenue or another-their lone being is not out of desire as they’d love to be accepted or able to weave in-I sympathize with them. The lone wolf makes the choices, from where I stand, out of the need to protect all things them. Trust and security are huge for a wolf and you won’t find them showing their cards or necessary wanting to see yours knowing it is expected to be reciprocated. We are no open books but if you’re ever let in, you’ve got one of the most reliable, trustworthy and noble mates you could have. Getting there...good luck!
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