Sunday, 11 October 2015

Lone Wolf vs Relationships with family members and friends...


Relationship: the mutual dealings, connections, or feelings that exist between two parties, countries, people, etc.

     When it comes to personal relationships, I don't do well with them. I must have been living alone for so long that the thought of being in either a committed or meaningful relationship with anyone is not an option to me at this stage of my life. In general, I do love people as a whole. But, I don't just feel the need to talk or hang out with my family members or friends on a daily basis is necessary. This comes from the mentality that time seems irrelevant to me. Meaning, whether if it has been at least a day to six months to a year, I enjoy talking with the family members and friends that just pick up where we last left off during the last communications instead of having me to explain to them why I haven't spoken to them sooner. This is the mentality of a person with a lone wolf mentality.

     A person with a lone wolf mentality don't feel the need to justify how they choose to live their life to anyone for any reason. To a person with a lone wolf mentality, their most trusted family members and friends understand and respect our decisions to do or not do something without having to explain or justify those decisions that we've made. So, by nature, a lone wolf don't have issues with being people, we just feel more serene when we choose to be alone when we feel like being alone. This is our lone wolf way.

I may have mentioned in the past that I have been called "stubborn" for having this mentality. And, I still see differently. The word "stubborn"  is mainly used by those that just don't understand nor respect our decision to want to be left alone from time to time. Unless a lone wolf meets someone that doesn't make them feel like being around or communicating with them on a daily basis, the lone wolf will eventually become less and less interested in talking or hanging out with that person that cannot seem "to leave them alone" on a daily (or even a weekly) basis. I can't really explain why I feel this way about myself. I just do. This is my lone wolf way.

I've know I may haven even upset a lot of family members and friends with this need to be alone or not called as much as they may have wanted to call me. But, I rather be honest with my feelings than keep these "frame of mind" to myself. This is my life. I only have the one to live. So, I choose to live this life to my pursuit of happiness. For example, after a long day of work, I enjoy relaxing at my place with my pet dog. If not that, I also enjoy going to the gym to workout alone while listening to my music. And, if not that, I enjoy bowling. All of these things that I choose to do alone is very therapeutic to me in mind, body, and spirit. This is my lone wolf way.

I love my family members and friends. I can't deny that fact. But, when my family members and friends either give people that I don't know in our group setting my real name, or they tell others what I do for a career choice, it puts me in an immediate frame of mind to not want to interact with anyone much longer that I need to be. I will even begin to start shutting down with others the longer I stay in that type of environment, because I don't feel that their family members or friends don't need to know my real name or profession. This is why I am not the kind of person that like to attend house parties or certain family gatherings where my real name (instead of my nickname) or profession is broad casted out to those whom I see no need to know this information about me. The less people that know my real name or the profession that I currently work, the more I can enjoy the moment with others. This is just the way I feel as a person with a lone wolf mentality.

If you see by now, I don't see myself ever being married or even engaged with someone special in the near future. If I do find someone to share my life with, that woman must be of the same kinship in mentality and spirit with each other for this ever occur. And, I don't see that happening in my life at this time. And, I am okay with this possible outcome of the relationship part of my life. I once had a coworker ask me do I ever worry about dying alone due to me not being married. And, I responded with a simple, "No." The coworker then threw that Bible in my face about the need to be married to someone. In my mind I was saying, "I don't see a God that would not allow me into Heaven because I choose to not be married." Mind you, this person was single them self while they were trying to get me to think about marrying someone. How moronic and disrespectful to judge and try to do such a thing. I rather be single and happy than married and miserable. This is my lone wolf mentality.

A person with a lone wolf mentality also goes by the saying, "... It is what it is..." And, if I happen to be alone at the end of my lifespan, then "it will be what it is" when it is all said and done with my life. And, I will be okay with that outcome of my life. I have no regrets with my life. If I've ever hurt anyone due to anything on my part, then I apologise. And, I already forgiven those that I done wrong to me. Life is too short to hold grudges with anyone. So, I have chosen to just not hang out or further communicate with those that I feel will be or is a negative part of my life. This is my lone wolf mentality.

So, in closing, I just wanted to let others know that I do love people as a whole. I just find myself even more content living a lot of my "free time" alone. I enjoy the special moments with my family members. And, I attempt to make the most of the few occasions that I get to spend with my close friends. I just don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone during the times that I don't feel like being around anyone. It's really irrelevant whether anyone wants to understand or respect this part of me. Just like I can respect my family members and friends when they don't want to be around or talk to me whenever that they choose to do so. So, I need them either respect me; or let me be because I don't have to explain my need to be alone at times. The same goes for why I am not currently in a relationship. "It is what it is" when it comes to that part of my life. This is my lone wolf way.

Saturday, 1 August 2015

Lone Wolf vs Anxiety...

Anxiety: an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear often marked by physiological signs (as sweating, tension, and increased pulse), by doubt concerning the reality and nature of the threat, and by self-doubt about one's capacity to cope with it.

There isn't a day that I don't feel alone in the world. And, when I say that I feel "alone", I don't mean in a "lonely" way. When I am referring to myself as feeling "alone", I am talking about the feeling that nothing will ever be accomplished in my life, whether it be personal or work, unless I" find a way to motivate myself into doing whatever the objective or mission that needs to be done. A typical day begins with me having to motivate myself to getting out of bed in order to begin the day. Then, I must then motivate myself to getting myself ready to clean myself up and get dressed in order to continue through the day. Then, I must find a way to stay motivated to see my way through whatever issues that I may have to encounter and/or resolve in order to make it through the end of the day. And, then, I must be able to motivate myself to finally allow myself return to my bed in order to rest up for another day. Most of the time, it takes my dog to bark enough times to let me know that it is time for "us" to got to bed. And, of course, I head to me bedroom, in order to cease my dog from barking. Dang dog. This has been my lone wolf way since 1997. 

I say all of this not to sound like I have any problems with the way I have been currently living my life. I am just saying that some days are more easier to motivate myself to get out of bed than others. Today, I was suppose to attend my 40 year high school reunion banquet. I began feeling my blood pressure rising, my ear beginning to ache, and my head beginning to hurt as the time to began getting myself dressed to go to this event was nearing. I finally got to the point where I knew why I was feeling this way as the deadline for me to get dressed was nearing: I really didn't want to go to my 40 year class reunion banquet. I got out of my chair only to walk my dog, then feed my dog, then made myself something to eat, and I finally returned to my chair in order to attempt to reduce my blood pressure. I began taking some supplements and finally a blood pressure pill in order to reduce my blood pressure that was steadily climbing by the minute today. Once I saw the 5:00 p.m. for my deadline to dress had passed, I began to feel the aching in my ear and headaches reducing. I feel bad that I won't be making the high school reunion event; yet, health wise, I seem to be coming down from my "anxiety" moment. A person with a lone wolf mentality shouldn't be having any type of anxiety moment.  But, here I am with one.

As you know, a person with a lone wolf mentality, is not a social person by nature. But, we do manage to find the strength such social event when needed to do so. I should never have to feel like having to do anything during my personal time. I should never feel "stressed" for not wanting to attend any event during my personal time. And, I shouldn't have to feel "guilty" for not living up to others expectations of me during my personal time. I enjoy life. I enjoy living life. I also enjoy what life has to offer me. I just want to be able to live my life the way that I want to live it. Anxiety isn't suppose to be a part of my life; and, I have been recently working on ways to improve my health (again) in order to get a better handle on my anxiety issues. I'll get through this anxiety issue. I know that I will get through this anxiety issue. This is my lone wolf way.

I'm tired now. But, I am feeling better. So, I'm going to go and relax now in order to get through the rest of this day. A person with a lone wolf mentality usually knows when to stop and rest in order to heal. So, this is me needing to stop and rest in order to heal. I'll be glad when this latest health issue is behind me...

Sunday, 19 July 2015

Lone Wolf vs Unnecessary drama...

Drama: Drama is when people bring about unnecessary hardships in their own and/or others lives. People with drama are usually immature and their personalities are seriously lacking in regards to the respect of others. 

A person with a lone wolf mentality is generally not a socialite by nature. But, we tend to adapt to our surroundings, whenever needed. Lone wolves must be willing to also walk amongst society in order to survive. That is a fact. Don't get me wrong. I enjoy being people whenever I need to be. Yet, I am more happier when I am all by myself. This is my lone wolf way. 

At times, I catch myself looking at the people that I am around and wonder why people tend to want to keep some type of drama on purpose in their life. I tend to not understand why there are people in this world that choose to want to more of a pain others than they really need to be. A lot of times I rather enjoy doing something on my own than having to deal with anyone that rather attempt to make the event more about themselves than about the group as a whole. With that being said, I am not anti-social. I am really quite the opposite. I enjoy interacting with people; but, I just choose to find as much "me time" as I can possibly obtain. "Me time" is my sanctuary away from the unnecessary drama and insanity of the world. This is my lone wolf way. 

I never want to be a potential contributor to any ones' self-fulfilling drama. There is nothing wrong with venting with someone that you trust. that's what friends do for one another. But, a person with a lone wolf mentality have to be really cautious with those they may choose to confide their innermost problems and/or issues. Regardless, a person with a lone wolf mentality will never be known a person "with drama".  Drama is something negative; and, I am not about the negativity in my life. 

A person with a lone wolf mentality tends to stay away from unnecessary drama. There is nothing to be gained from allowing unnecessary drama into their lives. I've stayed away from relationships, at the drop of a hat, if I met a woman that seemed to want to keep some type of unnecessary drama in their life. I let go of friends with unnecessary drama in their lives even faster. And, any associates with unnecessary drama in their lives don't even have my cell phone number; or, I don't answer their texts or phone calls.  

Am I wrong for having this type of mentality when it comes to unnecessary drama. Well, get over it because deep down inside you know that I am right about this subject. If you enjoy hanging out with people that choose to keep unnecessary drama in their lives, then you have to search deep inside of yourself to find out why. Do you see your life being so insignificant that you have to keep people with that type of drama around you? Are you afraid of hurting their feelings if you remove these type of people from your life? Or, do you think you can somehow attempt to help these type of people through their unnecessary drama? If you answer "yes"  to any of these questions, then you fail to realise that you are also a person that have "unnecessary drama" in your life.  

A person with a lone wolf mentality should rather choose to face the wilderness alone in the blistering cold than to hang out with anyone that feel like they must have unnecessary drama in their own life. This is my lone wolf way.

Sunday, 12 July 2015

Lone Wolf vs History...

History (noun):  the whole series of past events connected with someone or something

I don't know how many lives that I will live. I don't don't really know if anyone can know that information. the question that should be better asked, "Would I want to know what history is ever going to say about my existence?" And, my answer would simple be, "No."

A person with a lone wolf mentality doesn't see the need to measure time during their existence, when you are talking about ones own life span. I learnt from my past predecessors and my own mistakes. I live for the present. And, I strive to live a very happy future. This is my lone wolf way.

I have not been taking care of myself lately as in earlier months of this year. I can only blame myself for my current health status. But, I hope to improve my health status within the next week. I have no other choice but to do so. A person with a lone wolf mentality must first sustained one's own life in order to be able to leave any type of legacy for the future. At this time I don't believe I have done too many things to have left such a legacy yet; but, I would like to think that if I do leave this world before I accomplish that goal, I would hope that I have currently done enough selfless acts during my lifetime to have still left some type of positive impression in someone's life. And, if so, that be a peaceful blessing to me when I am physically no longer of this world. This is my lone wolf way.

A person with a lone wolf mentality shouldn't obsess over the little things. We shouldn't even obsess over the things that we can't control. A person with a lone wolf mentality shouldn't not also add to any of the drama that may currently exist in this world. Either we exist to be of a positive nature in this world, we attempt to live away from the society of this world, or their are some that choose to do both. Anybody that reports to have a lone wolf mentality that participates in any acts of a negative nature or becomes a public menace to society are not in the true sense of the word, a "lone wolf". Those lone wolves that choose to wrong or harm others should better be seen as "rouges" amongst our kind of lone wolves. History will be able to display  the deeds of anyones' action. This is the mindset of a person with a lone wolf mentality.

I feel blessed to be living the life that I have placed myself. It's not a perfect life; yet, I am content with it. I don't see myself ever getting married or having any children. And, I'm okay with that realization also. I only have the one life to live. So, I will continue to live my life as I see fit. and, with that knowledge of my resolve, I am content. I'll can't worry about what history may ever say about my existence. During the meanwhile, I shall continue to journey on with the rest of my life. This is the way of a person with a lone wolf mentality.

Tuesday, 16 June 2015

Does "inner-self" helps a person with a lone wolf mentality?

Inner-self (noun): a person's true or internal mind, soul, or nature.

As stated many of times to people, I am a loner in heart and soul. I find myself at time being difficult about sharing my feelings with others. Yet, I am honest about my shortcomings as a person with a lone wolf mentality.  I find it very easy to have embraced my "inner-self" this past year. I love relying on my inner-self because, when it really comes down to wanting to obtain the things that strive for in life, it will usually come down to me making it happen for myself. and, if one doesn't trust their own-self, then how one be able to rely on their instincts for guidance through their situations in life. This inner-self trait should be apart of every person that has the mentality of a lone wolf mentality. 

Let me know if you ever heard this story in your personal life: You have always been there for people whether it was loaning a friend some money through a rough time, helping them through a tough or sticky situation that was occurring in their life, or something along that line of being that "friend in need". But, when it comes to you needing a friend to return that favour or pay you back the money you have loaned them  when you needed it back, they somehow find it easy to let you down. Yet, you still have to find a way to now get yourself through that rough patch or needed situation. Developing an inner-self and not cracking under the weight of whatever problem that you may be enduring is a good trait to possess. I can't say that I am a "master" of my inner-self. I just managed to develop a consistent way to make the necessary adjustments and/or sacrifices in my life in order to be able to find my way through that "long tunnel" or situation. When a person has the mentality of a lone wolf, that person can be able to obtain and maximise their inner-self. Inner-self is a sure way to survive through these current days of uncertainty in one's life.  

Having the ability to rely on oneself to get through a situation, also must work on the other side of knowing when to allow others into your trust to also help you get through a situation. Until I learn to be more comfortable with this part of inner-self, I will still be a long way from mastering this trait. All I can do is be patient and hope that one day I can be as trusting of others with helping me through a situation as I can easily breath air. I need to learn how to apply my inner-self to aide me with my family, friendships, and work environments or I will never be able to relieve the "weight of the world" feelings off my shoulders. The mentality of a person with a lone wolf mentality is simple: "When there is you, there is a way..." We don't make excuses for our shortcomings, we don't mistreat others, and we don't allow other to over-abuse our kindness. Inner-self help regulate my internal mind, soul, and nature. I have not made it this far without relying on my inner-self. But, I also know that I would not have made this far in life without trusting others. Hence, a person with a lone wolf mentality must continue to rely on their inner-self in order to be able keep their mind, body and spirit in harmony in their daily life experiences. I shall continue to strive to make inner-self a part my lone wolf way...

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

The Lone Wolf vs Realism vs Unorthodox

Realism: the general attempt to depict subjects truthfully.

Unorthodox: not conforming to rules, traditions, or modes of conduct, as of a doctrine, religion, or philosophy; not orthodox.

Today, I was watching a movie of a stage play called, "Passing Strange"where a young man went out in the world in order to find himself through the artistry of music. But, in the end, this young man failed to see that he really didn't need to leave his neighbourhood and the love of his family and friends in order to find his true self.

I have the spirit of a loner. But, overall, in my heart, I love my family (even the ones that don't get me or gets on my nerves a lot). I left my neighbourhood to find myself. Yet, I never forgot where I came from. I am not as sociable person, as I used to be these days; but, I still keep in touch with those that I respect mutually. And, whenever possible, I attempt to "keep it real" with those that keeps it real with me. This is the mentality of a person with a lone wolf mentality.

I don't feel the need to speak to my family friends on a daily basis. I feel the same about anyone that I may casually date. I am not a daily talker. I enjoy keeping my conversations less than ten (10) minutes at a time. I am a person of even fewer words when it comes to texting. I usually respect someone that calls me just to check-in on me or just needed to tell me something important. Empty air during a telephone call bores me. That is the best thing about a person with a long wolf mentality: There is not a need to participate in a long phone call with anyone.

When in public, I usually attempt to keep things neutral with my hangout locations. I am not a fan of house parties and/or happy hour time with coworkers. I figured that everyone enjoys being themselves when they are away from. So, a person would usually allow those to be around them that also share in their same ideal of "fun."  My ideal of fun is simple: Nice, fun restaurants or sports bars, movie theatres, and bowling alleys (in no particular order). A person with a lone wolf mentality would mainly attempt to roam in their familiar surroundings unless forced to do so in order to adjust to a certain situation. For the record, I enjoy having a good time--I just rather enjoy it with those that I consider to be trustworthy and not problematic when they are out in public. A person with a lone wolf mentality doesn't want to draw any bad attention to themselves whenever possible.  

At one time being a "realist" was a main part of my everyday lifestyle. Now, due to the change of time, I am more "unorthodox" with my way of thinking these days than in years past. A person with a lone wolf mentality needed to be unorthodox in order to be able to adjust to the adversities of life. I enjoy not feeling restrictive with my mentality since becoming unorthodox. And, I enjoy doing my own thing. And, I can do it without loosing myself temper or peace of mind. This is the way of a person with a lone wolf mentality.

Sunday, 17 May 2015

The Lone Wolf Mentality: Keeping life simple...

I don't have a reason to be upset with the way that I have been living my life, thus far. A person with a Lone Wolf mentality shouldn't be upset with anyone but themselves, if they are not living the life that they are currently want to live. A person with a Lone Wolf mentality is the "masters of their own fate" with their life. So, a person with ta Lone Wolf mentality should do something to better their life if they have any issues with they way that have been living it up until now. There are no excuses for not doing so by now.

Yes, from time to time, our life will be affected by others that may attempt to domesticate us, or make us more docile to their will, during one of their controlled environments. But, a person with a Lone Wolf mentality can adjust to the will of another without losing the essence of who they are while enduring through that adjusted environment. There is no shame to a person with a Lone Wolf mentality to adjust to any environment, or circumstance, in order to be able to endure through that ordeal or situation. This is the way of the Lone Wolf's existence. And, while we exist in this world, we attempt to be as much as a positive influence in society as possible. "Damn all others, who may attempt to set themselves against us all around."

Life is a book with many chapters that are yet to be written as we continue to journey through it. The ending of our life's book, is finished when photos, audio/video recordings, or our loved ones' memories of us no longer exist to the point that we are only thought of in spirit. Until then, a person with Lone Wolf mentality shouldn't stay focused on the past when they still have so much to live for in the present. A person with a Lone Wolf mentality respects the lives of those that have came before before us, those that we were blessed to have interacted with while they were still alive, and attempt to pass on their memories onto others until we are no longer able to do so. This should be the basic philosophy of the Lone Wolf way.

I attempt to keep my life as simple as possible. I enjoy chilling from time to time at my place of refuge in order to keep myself grounded. I mingle with others to remember why I need to continue to be a  positive example to others without trying to exert my way of thinking upon others. And, I will continue to stay away from any unnecessary drama as much as possible that may come either my family members or friends. This is how a person with a Lone Wolf mentality can usually keep their life more feasible to endure on a day to day basis. This is my Lone Wolf way...