Relationship: the mutual dealings, connections, or feelings that exist between two parties, countries, people, etc.
When it comes to personal relationships, I don't do well with them. I must have been living alone for so long that the thought of being in either a committed or meaningful relationship with anyone is not an option to me at this stage of my life. In general, I do love people as a whole. But, I don't just feel the need to talk or hang out with my family members or friends on a daily basis is necessary. This comes from the mentality that time seems irrelevant to me. Meaning, whether if it has been at least a day to six months to a year, I enjoy talking with the family members and friends that just pick up where we last left off during the last communications instead of having me to explain to them why I haven't spoken to them sooner. This is the mentality of a person with a lone wolf mentality.
A person with a lone wolf mentality don't feel the need to justify how they choose to live their life to anyone for any reason. To a person with a lone wolf mentality, their most trusted family members and friends understand and respect our decisions to do or not do something without having to explain or justify those decisions that we've made. So, by nature, a lone wolf don't have issues with being people, we just feel more serene when we choose to be alone when we feel like being alone. This is our lone wolf way.
I may have mentioned in the past that I have been called "stubborn" for having this mentality. And, I still see differently. The word "stubborn" is mainly used by those that just don't understand nor respect our decision to want to be left alone from time to time. Unless a lone wolf meets someone that doesn't make them feel like being around or communicating with them on a daily basis, the lone wolf will eventually become less and less interested in talking or hanging out with that person that cannot seem "to leave them alone" on a daily (or even a weekly) basis. I can't really explain why I feel this way about myself. I just do. This is my lone wolf way.
I've know I may haven even upset a lot of family members and friends with this need to be alone or not called as much as they may have wanted to call me. But, I rather be honest with my feelings than keep these "frame of mind" to myself. This is my life. I only have the one to live. So, I choose to live this life to my pursuit of happiness. For example, after a long day of work, I enjoy relaxing at my place with my pet dog. If not that, I also enjoy going to the gym to workout alone while listening to my music. And, if not that, I enjoy bowling. All of these things that I choose to do alone is very therapeutic to me in mind, body, and spirit. This is my lone wolf way.
I love my family members and friends. I can't deny that fact. But, when my family members and friends either give people that I don't know in our group setting my real name, or they tell others what I do for a career choice, it puts me in an immediate frame of mind to not want to interact with anyone much longer that I need to be. I will even begin to start shutting down with others the longer I stay in that type of environment, because I don't feel that their family members or friends don't need to know my real name or profession. This is why I am not the kind of person that like to attend house parties or certain family gatherings where my real name (instead of my nickname) or profession is broad casted out to those whom I see no need to know this information about me. The less people that know my real name or the profession that I currently work, the more I can enjoy the moment with others. This is just the way I feel as a person with a lone wolf mentality.
If you see by now, I don't see myself ever being married or even engaged with someone special in the near future. If I do find someone to share my life with, that woman must be of the same kinship in mentality and spirit with each other for this ever occur. And, I don't see that happening in my life at this time. And, I am okay with this possible outcome of the relationship part of my life. I once had a coworker ask me do I ever worry about dying alone due to me not being married. And, I responded with a simple, "No." The coworker then threw that Bible in my face about the need to be married to someone. In my mind I was saying, "I don't see a God that would not allow me into Heaven because I choose to not be married." Mind you, this person was single them self while they were trying to get me to think about marrying someone. How moronic and disrespectful to judge and try to do such a thing. I rather be single and happy than married and miserable. This is my lone wolf mentality.
A person with a lone wolf mentality also goes by the saying, "... It is what it is..." And, if I happen to be alone at the end of my lifespan, then "it will be what it is" when it is all said and done with my life. And, I will be okay with that outcome of my life. I have no regrets with my life. If I've ever hurt anyone due to anything on my part, then I apologise. And, I already forgiven those that I done wrong to me. Life is too short to hold grudges with anyone. So, I have chosen to just not hang out or further communicate with those that I feel will be or is a negative part of my life. This is my lone wolf mentality.
So, in closing, I just wanted to let others know that I do love people as a whole. I just find myself even more content living a lot of my "free time" alone. I enjoy the special moments with my family members. And, I attempt to make the most of the few occasions that I get to spend with my close friends. I just don't feel the need to explain myself to anyone during the times that I don't feel like being around anyone. It's really irrelevant whether anyone wants to understand or respect this part of me. Just like I can respect my family members and friends when they don't want to be around or talk to me whenever that they choose to do so. So, I need them either respect me; or let me be because I don't have to explain my need to be alone at times. The same goes for why I am not currently in a relationship. "It is what it is" when it comes to that part of my life. This is my lone wolf way.
